||Grammys && Dreaming||
Maybe to the extent where for a long time, as a little girl, I was a bit out of touch with reality. I would come up with alter egos who would perform at family gatherings and holidays. I am convinced, that as much as my mind is a functioning type A, there are also fireworks and pixie dust sprinkled in there too. I’ve always been a dreamer.
Almost two weeks ago now, I was blessed with the wonderful opportunity to be invited to attend the 57th Grammy Awards with a group of handpicked individuals that God knew I needed in my life at this time. A lot of dreams came true that day, it was the most surreal experience ever. Anyone I’ve ever admired, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, Stevie Wonder, SAM SMITH, was in that room. I saw them; I teared up OBVIOUSLY but didn’t cry because of the whole look presentable all day-makeup thing. But I sat there, even though the seats were high up and I could barely make out their forms and saw every single one of them. I watched them perform and hear the songs I’ve heard on repeat so many times. It was one of the most incredible experiences ever and I am still blown away that I was able to be there.
There are two things I experienced that day (well there’s a few more than two but for now we’ll stick with two).
ONE. The amount of spirituality was UNREAL. By spirituality, I mean the strongest sense of heaven and hell I have ever experienced in one place. The actual battling of both places over every person, every word, every performance. The first performance started and they announced to everyone that they should put on their devil horns. HOLY WOAH. Basically I think the enemy knew that at the end of his performance Pharrell, dressed as a bell hop, would declare, “As you can see Lord, I am at your service.” I think he knew there would be a victim of sexual abuse there to tell every single individual watching that broadcast that they are worth being loved well and that it would be followed with good ol' KP singing "By the Grace of God" to end the moment. It was a clean even split, both heaven and hell battling, but there was no question who won in the end.
You see, there's a long standing history between the arts and Christianity and their anything but cordial relationship with one another. It is often assumed that God is not apart of what goes on in the entertainment industry, but my oh my how wrong we are. God is not any less present, any less active in music and the arts than he is in church. People can fight me on that, break out the bibles and show me all the scripture verses you want. But I can say confidently that God is moving so tremendously in the arts, he is redeeming, one song at a time, one artist at a time. And I don't just mean "Christian art" either, no I mean raw, authentic, nitty-gritty, heart and flesh of this world, he's in the midst of that, right there in the middle.
You see, I didn’t sit there during the performances at any point and think, 'Oh my gosh, this heathen show. How dare I be here!' No instead, I thought 'Oh my goodness, of all the places I should be…it’s right here.' Which leads into my second point.
TWO. The Grammys are something we put on a pedestal. The people, the red carpet, the whole experience is something we feel less than. Because we’re not Beyonce, we’re not Taylor Swift, we’re not Kanye or Ed Sheeran. But if I ever felt at any point that I was equal with someone or something, it was that day for many reasons. One of them being, everyone I have ever watched and admired artistically I got the opportunity to see them in their element (minus the fancy-ness of it all). I saw them be exactly who they are, doing what they were created to do and that made me come to this realization: They’re not just "celebrities", they at one point said to themselves and maybe others, “I am an artist, I am a creative human being and I want to do that for the rest of my life.”
And in that moment I heard my own heart skip a few extra beats and the softest affirmation whispering,
“Darling, that’s been you since day one.”
God took something like the Grammys to remind me that I am wired to create. I am a creative human being at my core, always walking with the desire to create beautiful things with both my hands and my mouth and share them. It was in that moment that something like the Grammys, something that seems so far above me, suddenly didn’t seem so above me at all. Instead it felt like it was straight in front of me, just a few reaches away. He used the Grammys to show me a handful of wonderful things about him and what he was doing, about myself, about others, about life and love and all of the above. It was a lot to take in but a day that has shifted so much in my own life already, its absolutely ridiculous.
But, this post is not really about the Grammys at all.
This post is for the dreamers. The creatives and the artistically wired. This is for me; this is for no longer denying exactly who I am, a creative not just as a hobby, but a lifestyle. Oh how I so desperately, want this to be a lifestyle. I want to create beautiful things, sow together words that reflect not me at all but my source of inspiration and the Lord of my life.
Nope, this post is not about the Grammys at all. Not about the red carpet or five seconds from weeping every time Sam Smith stepped on stage. Not about my dramatic makeup (Thank you Domenica) or handsome dates. Not about how I completely did not deserve the opportunity. No, this post is for the dreamers; this post is to urge you to keep dreaming. To beg you not to let reality scare the pixie dust and fireworks out of you. To remind you that maybe life is supposed terrify us sometimes, perhaps it is Gods reminder that we were never created for the mundane or to live in the comfortable.
This post about doing more of what scares me. About letting the type-A in me freak out a little and exchange all my comfortable, this-makes-sense plans for more of what I'm passionate about. Some of the greatest advice I've been given lately is being told, "Do more of what makes you come alive" those words have been echoing throughout my day to day for the past week. Do more of what makes you come alive, Do more of what makes you come alive, Do more of what makes you come alive.
So I'm giving that to you now. Do more of what makes you come alive even if it seems above you or too far, I am convinced that nothing is truly above us, or out of reach. Instead, it is right in front of us, waiting until we realize, Darling, this has been you since day one. Don't be afraid, embrace all the scary. Your fireworks and pixie dust were meant to shine bright, that's just how you're wired so keep dreaming, keep creating and please don't you ever stop.