Tomorrow is just the fourteenth of February and it so happens to be a friday.

All the bitter people unite? Let's scoff at the couple plans, make sarcastic jokes about what you will be doing on this day (probably alone), talk about all the different places you'll cry so on and so forth. I am so very guilty of this. I make sure people know that it is a personal struggle to not play Adele on this particular day (or at all) listening to it in the dark while sprawled out on my bedroom floor. Or how I can't help but remember how the extent of my "valentines" include my Mom or Dad except for this year when I sort of told the baby that I take care of, that he was my 2014 Valentine. He didn't say no, so I think we're good to go.

It gets pretty sad, this whole bitter approach, the sarcastic remarks or funny anti-Vday gags. This day probably fosters a certain tartness in the mouth, It leaves us emotional and lonely. Why has this day become such an "inconvenience" for those of us who feel as though we can't celebrate it? Why does this day have to be one of grief or just overall discomfort? Why does this day insinuate that loneliness is a necessity if you don't have a significant other? Why does this day make us feel as if loneliness is a bad thing at all? I am mostly calling my own self out on this one but here's the thing.... We have made Valentines day something I don't believe it has to be. Valentines day, is a day of love. Period. It's the day to be a little bit more intentional with who we drop our "I love yous" to and how we say it, about buying a pack of cheesy cards with great puns to make someone smile. It is the day that the married couple for almost 30 years, can finally have the time/ babysitter to go on a date and spend more than an hour together without having to change diapers, break up fights or put kids to sleep. It is the day where I am reminded how homesick I get, how I still long for my mothers voice, my fathers hug and the laughter of my siblings. It is the reminder that even through the constant hatred of this world, even when we assume it is dead and long gone, love still exists and pumps itself alive again at any given moment. Valentines day isn't about couples and it isn't about loneliness for whoever is not a couple, we just mistakingly made it that way. It is about celebrating the people in your life who have loved you well. It's about remembering that you are a human being who is loved and capable of loving.

So here's the thing.. If you think you deserve flowers, go get yourself some flowers and maybe drop one off at a friends door. Remind yourself how blessed you are to have them, show them how much they mean to you. If you want to go watch a movie, grab a friend...(or not and go by yourself...which I think everyone should do at some point in their life) and go see a movie! If you want to get chocolate, GO GET YOURSELF SOME CHOCOLATE. If you want to take yourself or someone else out to dinner, do it.  If you have a friend throwing a fun little party, put on something that makes you feel good and comfortable and go.   There's literally nothing stopping you except your own bitter self. So turn off the John Mayer Dreaming with a Broken Heart, or any Adele song, wipe your tears and go love on someone.

Valentines day should be the reminder that we are relational, emotional human beings with the magnificent capability of loving. Live today as if your heart has never been shattered, eat all the chocolate you want because someone said it was socially acceptable to do that, tell someone who loves you well thank you.  And in the words of my precious friend who literally just gave me the cutest little handmade box with cookies and a daisy in it and a note that reads,

 "Happy Valentines day! You're probably rolling your eyes, but today is a beautiful day to celebrate the beauty of you and your heart."

On this day, celebrate loving yourself, celebrate loving others. Happy Valentines Day friends!

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Originally Written: February 13th, 2014

UncategorizedArielle Estoria