|| This Is Not a Pep Talk, But It Could Be ||
This weekend, I was able to go home and be apart of an Arts Networking Seminar. Sounds professional but also really dope doesn't it? It was. It was something like a dream. (I keep using that statement a lot lately, it's probably because I don't necessarily know how to describe life when it doesn't feel real. I keep waking up thinking that these new friendships, experiences, conversations and moments are all going to be wiped away from my memory because they never really happened. Luckily, that's not true, I am in a wonderful season. It's weird, restless and I'm learning way more about myself than I necessarily want to but it's good, real good)
The Networking Seminar I attended was all about and for artists, Christian Artists. Artists wanting to "reach into the heart of culture" and transform it as one of the speakers so eloquently put. It was about reviving our community, revamping the way we've approached this whole "call to be artists."
I took me awhile ( and still have a hard time) calling myself a "poet" or "spoken word artist" or even "writer". I've always been more of a story teller, a lover and student of language or a verbal processor. I suppose in some ways I've been a little bit afraid to associate myself with the arts. Because well to be honest, that's "secular" and people are so quick to assume Gods far from it. But there was something about this weekend that made me realize, God is right there in the center of it all. He is the pen and the paint brush. He is the dancers shoe and the soul of the vocalist. He's in all of it. The very heART of it all.
One of the speakers, who is a producer of a production company talked about how he doesn't have "artists", he has servants. He talked about how some "young people" can't handle power because they're not mature enough to handle it. He noted that he has his team stick to one thing they can do and call that they're calling. I sat squirming and flinching a lot when he spoke. It made me uncomfortable not because it was terribly convicting or true but because I didn't agree with very much of it.
Nestled deep inside of me was the refusal to believe that I was only made to be one thing, to utilize only one of the gifts I've been given. I refused to believe that just because my age implies that I am "young" means that I'm not capable of grabbing this place by it's seams and turning it upside down.
I refused to be told that who I am
and who I was created to be is limited.
as I sit on this plane, 6:15am and we still haven't taken off yet, I'm also wondering why I'm not knocked out yet but mostly I realize, I am called to so much greater than I can believe or dream. There is a purpose written so delicately in my life story and there is a passion nestled within my bones that keeps me waking up the next morning.
Before this week starts and you get swept up into the frenzy of whatever it holds....
I urge you to remember that you are called and you are purposed.
You are filled with all the goodness this world needs to shatter realities.
You are here to recreate what truth and rawness looks like
and make beautiful things with your glorious and hardworking hands.
You are something like a galaxy who's forgotten the wonders in their own Milky Way.
Maybe scientifically or astronomically that doesn't work out but stay with me here... You are so afraid of dreaming about what scares you, wondering about what's not realistic or logical. Forget realistic or logical if only for a moment. Place the student, the parent, the employee in you aside, let go of the to-do list for a second and let the giddy inside of you make you laugh for no reason. Close your eyes for a second and think about the last thing you did that made you feel like, "This? Oh yeah THIS I could do for the rest of my life."
We are always going to be told who we are and who we aren't. Please learn to decide for yourself. Learn that no one can duplicate your contribution to this world. Please understand darling, you are a wonder. A captivating wonder, filled with dreams and passions that boil over. You will leave stardust everywhere that you go because that's just what you do.
We can't keep waking up
just going through work, school and life in this mundane routine as if we don't have fire raging inside of us daring that we just allow ourselves to be ignited every once in awhile.
That restlessness that you feel? That's all you're created to be desperately waiting to shatter some perceptions.
Baby you are living and breathing.
You have an immense amount of capability that you haven't even seen glistening in your soul. Shoot dang. I can't wait until you blow yourself away. I can't wait until the day God pulls back your doubts and insecurities and let's you see the W O A H he's sown in your ribcage.
Marianne Williamson killed it when she said,
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same."
So here's to you. May you realize, in sweet and humble surrender that you, you were made for something so much bigger than yourself.