Today I started a thirteen day devotional on the Women in the Bible by http://shereadstruth.com/ (I highly recommend this, its so awesome, conversational based, and its just really good.) Of course the series starts off with Eve, the first woman created. The devotional begins with asking, "What words come to mind when you hear the name Eve? Apple? Sin? Adam? First? Flawed? Fall?" I found myself responding to this by chiming in my own suggestions like "Yeah, she messed up..." "Thanks to her I have woman pains" and so on and so forth. And then the devotional suggests you read the first passage which was Genesis 1:26-31 you know the creation story with Adam and then later came Eve, the creation of man kind in the image of God. And then, the fall comes shortly after that. Eve gets tricked and the cunning serpent has screwed it up for the rest of humanity.
What stood out to me the most was verse 25 of Chapter 2 which says, "Adam and his wife were both naked and they felt no shame." and then right after they ate the fruit the first thing they realized was that they were naked.
Let's sit with that for a minute.
I would dare to say that the first sin experienced was the sin of insecurity.
Just moments before the fall Adam and Eve were stark naked and felt no shame, they were comfortable with themselves, they loved who they were and who they were with. And shortly thereafter once sin rooted itself in the world, shame and insecurity with and in themselves was the first thing they felt.
When I read this, my heart broke. I am a victim of the sin of insecurity, I would dare to say that at some point we all have, however for others it just seems to make itself a home in our hearts and minds for a little longer.
I wrote in my journal that we can't even imagine a life without sin because that's all we've known since it began in the very beginning. But Genesis 25 gives us just little glimpse of what a life without sin looked like, its not simply that they were naked and just didn't care. Sin makes us care, it makes us on edge, uncomfortable and unsure. Adam and Eve were in the most vulnerable, bare state of being and they didn't care because they weren't captive to insecurities, the idea of them not being fearfully and wonderfully made did not exist...Sin tells us that we're not but isn't it crazy to think about the fact that for a second they knew without a doubt that they were enough, they knew they were worthy of being loved.
Shame, is not something God given, especially not shame towards who we are. A really close friend of mine comes across wonderful blogs and has a lovely habit of sending the good ones my way. Today he sent me Jamie's blog: http://www.theveryworstmissionary.com/, Jamie talks about shame in her blog titled "Taking Back Eden" where she says, "Shame is a byproduct of a dying world. It's a shackle that binds us to our brokenness. It is Shame who first points a finger and cries out, “Look at you! You're NAKED!”, and tells you to run and hide. Shame warns you to cover up, hide your junk, don't get caught. Shame clothed us in fig leaves and nestled us in the bushes; shame led the way right out of Eden, and still it barricades the door."WOW.
I could not have said it any better myself. Insecurities are nothing but a byproduct of sin, they tell us we are not enough, even though the creator of the heavens gave us life with his very breath. How dare anyone tells us that we are not enough. Sin tells us to go run and hide, you are dirty and shameless... but our God tells us to come to him, that we are imperfect yet flawless, we are loved and worth loving. I couldn't agree more with Jamie and her "Taking Back Eden" title. It will take a while, but one day at a time he is reversing the chaos that occurred after that forbidden fruit was bitten.
For me, he is reversing the lies that I need to be ashamed, that I need to run and hide because I am not something that should be out and bare in the open. He is reassuring me that the life he breathed into me was not an accident and despite what anyone says it is still good. So one day at a time, he is (as Jamie said), “I'm here. And I'm taking back Eden.”