||Okay 2016, I guess.||


2015 made a plant out of me.

It made me grow, showed me what pain looks like for the sake of beautiful results coming from it. I sat in the sun and baked too long and then felt what it feels like to come back into your element and thrive. Yes, 2015 made a plant out of me. Some leaves have fallen off and then my Creator came and pruned the stuborn dead ones that didn't want to let go. He filled, I emptied myself, He filled, I dried myself out, He filled, I absorbed too much and missed moments to share it. Always learning, always trying again.

Every year is filled with lessons that I pack into my “this can move forward with me” suitcase but 2015 was one for the books.

1. If you don’t love them, they are not yours to keep---let go.

 2. Be honest, yes with others but mostly yourself.

 3. Under the debris of indecisiveness, is the heartbeat of exactly what you should do- believe that.

4. Dream bigger- much bigger and even still what God has for you is above and beyond what you can imagine. 

5. The hustle is not your friend, success does not look like what you think it should and you are enough.

6. Vulnerability is not a weakness-- no, quite the contrary, it is the most powerful strength next to knowing who you are. Because when people try and strip you down guess what honey? you’re already bare, so there is nothing left for them to rid you of.

7. Take care of yourself. You will run yourself into the ground if you don’t and you have way too much to contribute still.

8. Listen and still yourself long enough to hear God speak, seriously just sit down somewhere and listen.

8.5 Do not be fooled, when pride is speaking but somehow sounds like wisdom.

9. Posting selfies, YEAH I said posting selfies, is not equivalent with being "full of yourself"- POST THE SELFIE and then get off instagram because your worth is not numerical.

 10. Obligation and guilt should not be fuel for your actions instead:

act out of love act out of truth act out of faith

act out of authenticity

and act out of courage.

These are just a few of the many lessons, love notes, soft God whispers I am taking with me into this 2016 year. I grew up, grew out, maybe grew in a little bit however you want to interpret that.

My spine is standing a little bit taller, I will say that my heart for various reasons has become a bit bitter than when I walked into this year but I’m working on that.

I have learned/ am continuously learning how to love this body, this whole self with more loving and less condemning arms.

Even though 2015 was one of the hardest years I’ve had so far, it has also been the one where I have been most supported and loved--- kind of beautiful how that works isn’t it? I have been brought to tears by your emails, your texts, care packages, notes and letters --- all of these are planted deep within my heart and even more so under my feet because they are literally (and God's grace of course) what keeps me going.

 You are ravishing, firework dazzling, wonderful human beings and I am honored to be a part of your lives in this small, internet, inbox type way.
So as you walk into 2016 please know this:

it's okay to unfold if you must, withdraw when necessary, do not be afraid to say no, don’t apologize for things you have no reason to be sorry for, search for kindness, be kindness, listen when He speaks, do not be afraid of the ocean shore edges He will bring you to.

Here’s to the New Year, if it must be a “new You”, I hope one with more radiance and more courage.

Happy New Year darlings.


UncategorizedArielle Estoria