Lions, Tigers, Acceptance and Rejection Oh My!
Tomorrow is coming. Slowly creeping around the corner of today, looming over a lot of people’s heads. Emails will be checked repeatedly; as if a two second later refreshes will magically do the trick. Nervousness will start tonight, tossing and turning. The ambiguousness of next year’s future will turn into dreams or nightmares. The first part of the day will be spent completely distracted and who knows what the second half will look like.
Tomorrow is basically APUs version of "D-Day", it comes every year around this time, where we think we're being present in the now but at the same time, our hearts are desperately wondering about the tomorrow.
I get it.
I've been there.
Last year on this day I awaited the email about whether or not I would be able to spend three out of my four years at APU in the dear to my heart Adams Hall. But on this day, I also found out that was not what God wanted for me. That being in Adams for a third time as a Community Advisor was not the direction I was going to go. Was I pissed? Heck yea. Was I sad? Heck yeah. Did I want to track down the girl who did get it and congratulate her? Not even. Excuse my brutal honesty but it's true. The last thing you want to do when you're grieving is go up to anyone who isn't and plaster a smile on your face, instead you want run into your room, turn the lights off and crawl into bed, and maybe even cry a little bit and that’s okay.
Regardless of what happens tomorrow, there's going to be this eery, emotional, weird vibe on campus and we're going to have to learn how to trek through it.
If you get a position... YAY! But I would maybe encourage you to refrain posting about it right away because every one of your friends who didn’t get anything will probably bitterly like your status and then they will close their computer, or delete the social media apps off of their phone so that they can have their opportunity to grieve, just as much as you're having the opportunity to celebrate. Also, DO NOT feel bad for getting this position, try not to let guilt lie to you and say that you didn't deserve it because your friend did over you...because YOU got the position, and you are fully equipped to live it out. Also, be happy! I know you feel conflicted a little bit but It's okay to rejoice while at the same time some else is crying tears for a different reason, but be so very aware of when someone just needs you to grieve with them.
If you don't get a position... YAY! That means God has something different for you. That doesn't mean better, or worse, it means that your plan for your life is not cohesive with someone else at that moment and that's still good. What good is a bunch of different stories with the same plot? I know, this is crazy talk and you feel like life is going to suck, you won't have an identity, you're going to lose friends etc but here's the thing...GOD. HAS. SOMETHING DIFFERENT FOR YOU. Specifically shaped to your life story, he's just written a different page that you weren't aware of, but you're aware of it now so embrace it. It's okay grieve, its okay to go straight back to your living area, crawl into bed lights off and just lay there, cry a little, call your mom, get it all out. You are totally allowed to do this, but know that someone might want you to celebrate with them a little bit, be honest with where you're at, but also don't guilt trip them. Be aware when there needs to be a balance of juggling tears for two different reasons.
For those of you who didn't apply to anything and you're standing in the awkward middle of eating yogurt land with people who are celebrating and eating yogurt with people because its easier to hide that they don't want to celebrate. Please stray away from Jeremiah 29:11, don't talk about how it's not important because to them it is, just hug on them. Let your shoulder volunteer as tribute as a tissue, be willing to give out a lot of hugs, be willing to take multiple Yogurt land trips for multiple reasons.
If you receive something tomorrow, or you don't, remember this: your purpose is not wrapped up in acceptance or rejection. The wholeness of what you were created to do and who you were created to be IS SO MUCH BIGGER than Alpha, RA, Admissions, Study Abroad, Internships, Grad Schools, Jobs so on and so forth. Rejection is apart of life, and so is acceptance, they are both necessary for growth, life experience and all that good stuff.
Tomorrow will pass. The hype will die down, and then it'll start all over again next year and in the end, it's going to be okay.
God is going to rock your world with what he actually has in store for you, the people he will bring, the conversations you will have, the new opportunities that will be at your fingertips. Trust me, I know it sounds crazy… but he knows what he’s doing, and he’s really really good at what he does.
Shauna Niequist said it best in her book, Bitter Sweet when she said,
“When life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate. And when life is bitter, say thank you and grow.”
So if life is sweet tomorrow then awesome, embrace and nestle in that sweetness.
If life takes a more bitter approach that’s also awesome, embrace and nestle in that bitterness.
Say thank you to both rejection and acceptance, let it help you grow and let this place be the perfect place for both grieving and celebrating tomorrow.
Also, someone warn Yogurt Land and all the stores with Ice Cream because they'll probably get a lot of business tomorrow and like I said before, it’s going to be okay…I promise.