|| Fourteenth of February ||
I completely forgot about Valentine’s Day this year.
Except for right now, as I write this post obviously.
But honestly, I found myself casually scheduling coffee dates with friends and thinking, “Well my calendar says my most free days this week start on Saturday.” It wasn’t until my friend pointed out that all of her single friends were trying to make plans with her that day that I realized…oh yeah, Valentine’s Day is Saturday!
“I love how it just wasn’t even on your radar,” She told me, and I did too.
Trust me, this is a new development for me. You better believe I have cringed for days leading up to the fourteenth of February, realizing that the only gifts I will get will come from my parents, or the fact that around this time, every movie, every song inevitably turned me into a hot mess. Or when I was usually recruited by friends boyfriends to help in some really beautiful declaration of their love. It is when I thought about every heartbreak or failed encounter with any guy....ever and somehow they always reminded me why I am alone that day.
This year though…this year is a little different because I refused to let hallmark and Kay Jewelers define how I am going to feel or what I am going to believe about myself on this day.
This year, instead of thinking woe-is-me, I have no one to take me on a date wah wah wah, I thought: today is someone’s birthday, either the very beginning of his or her life or somewhere in between. Someone passed away today. Someone got engaged or married. Someone found out horrible news. Someone’s marriage is falling apart; someone is probably trying to DTR their relationship so that they’ll have a date. Someone has committed himself or herself to a day of Adele, chocolate, wine and some TV show that’ll just make them cry. Someone will be going on a date today and it’ll be the best they ever had. Someone else will go on a date today and it will suck…horribly. All of this to say…it’s another day. Special to some and not so special to others. Tomorrow will be Sunday, the tears will dry and the roses will wilt. And you're going to be okay.
You see, matters of the heart and soul are the greatest marketing strategy. Merchandise, entertainment, retail, food places…. they’ve all convinced you that something is wrong with you if you do not plan on hopping on this distorted Valentine's train. We tried to make it funny by calling it "single awareness day" but even that is still sad, because it shows our discontent with where we’re at and I get that. But as you may or may not have picked up from previous blogs, I truly believe that despite contrary belief, this whole single season (or life style) we find ourselves in, is not a burden as much as we are convinced it is. It is a season for us to learn what the heck loving someone even means. Even more so, it’s the season where we figure out how to love ourselves before we love someone else. It’s the season where Galantines day is EVERYDAY, where dating yourself and dating friends is just as beautiful. Where yes you will hurt and you will long and you'll think about what being loved intimately even looks like for you. And that's okay...I'm not here to say those are bad things, take your feelings, suck them up and move on. No no...that's not what I'm saying.
What I am saying is that today is not about tears, it’s about remembering how loved you are. By family, by friends, by people you may not even know yet. It is to remember to love and love well. Who cares if you don’t have a date, GET DRESSED UP AND GO OUT ANYWAY or stay inside, eat lots of good food and invite someone over to join you. Today is for friends and chocolate, for movies and laughter. For city nights and the best sleep afterwards. For good times and less Adele and Sam Smith. It's for text messages to all the people who make life worth living.
Today should not convince you that you are any less beautiful,
any less handsome, any less ravishing,
any less worthy.
Today is not about getting picked, it’s not about being chosen.
It is a day that should remind us, if we do not love every day of the year…then are we really living well at all?
YES, you deserve handholding and beautiful things. But right now you deserve to stare at yourself in the mirror and know what it looks like to love yourself like something crucial first. Know that YOU are a whole person, in need of no one else to complete you.
Know that there is a man who decided
that he would rather DIE than stop loving you.
No date, hallmark card or rose could ever come close to that. How dare you ever assume that you are worth anything less than being loved with someone’s whole heart && whole soul.
Wipe those tears, go put on something that makes you feel so ridiculously beautiful (be it fancy outfit or your favorite sweats) and do something to love yourself or someone else so well that it kicks Valentines Day and all its stereotypes in the face.
You are loved.
You are loved.
You are so so loved.
If you ever doubted that you deserve anything less than wonderful. That ends right here.
Because you babe,
are worth heaven given to you on the most elegant platter
&& told that this...yes THIS, was always meant for you.
Credit: Anays Navarro