Day Thirteen || 30days30minutes

Ah.Today was good.

But I mean, when there is an entire a day set aside for you to be showered with more love than you can fathom, how could that not be a good day? I woke up to streamers on my door and coffee paired with a bunch of goodies from my beautiful and loving housemate. Then I took on the day, wandered LA and grabbed coffee & flowers on the way with my ball of sass, drake lovin' Karen (happy 1 year friend-aversary!), the night ended with small group time turned Scandal party.

At one point in the day, Karen being the inquisitive and challenging friend that she is, asked me what five positive things I learned and took away from this twenty-third year of life. After that conversation, we tried to figure out what my tag line or theme would be for year twenty-four. We thought of Lioness in the making (shout out to she in the making for the inspiration), Karen thought of Lioness in distress (don't ask) and then when I got to small group today there were cute decorations hanging across Brittany's kitchen area that read,


She went to target and got a pack of decorative letters and wondered what she could come up with using the letters she had. Dream Forever. I mean-- yes. 

When does it happen? 

At what point in life do we get to that it makes us stop dreaming?

Why do we stop dreaming?

Why do we fear ourselves out of thinking we can't do something?

Why did we stop wearing the superman capes and tutus? Why do we hesitate when people ask us what we want to be, when before we would blurt out without any hesitation doctor, firefighter, teacher, nurse, actress, dancer, whatever made our heart skip a handful of beats. I know that poetry is more than a hobby, it has never been about being on stage or just doing it because it's kind of fun sometimes.

It is my biggest dream to stretch past these California walls and trail words into cities I've never been to before and on the hearts of strangers.

I want this twenty-fourth year to be about more of that, Dreaming forever. Grasping a dream (or a few dreams) in the palms of my hands and running with them as fast as I can in the directions people continuously tell you are off limits.. I want this year to be about doing all the crazy things fear tells me I can't.

To say that I want to kind of want to earthquake our preconceived idea of what we dream to be "possible" and "not possiblE" would be an understatement.

A few weeks ago, I received a thank you card from Emily, the founder of Daughter of Delight  and have been using the beautiful gold foil card as a  bookmark in the book we are reading for small group. And then this morning my housemate gave me a pretty framed pint version of the same quote on the card

She believed she could, so she did.

She believed she could, so she did.

She believed she could, so she did.

She believed she could, so she did.

It isn't she believed she might, so she tried. It isn't she almost did but fear stopped her.

She believed she could, so she did.

I refuse to downgrade or belittle what I know I'm called to do and who I know I'm called to be. I mentioned in Day 12 that twenty-three was the year I learned to listen and accept to the roaring of the Lioness in my gut -- I have no intention of caging her ever again.

I'm in the midst of working on some projects that I'm really excited to share with you all; revamping my website, getting some prints available for purchase, a collaboration book with a sweet and talented poet sister and some other goodies coming your way-- I realize that these are baby dreams becoming breathing, living wonders and I am in complete and utter awe at the birth of them. These are not a list of OMG I'M SO BUSY AND DOING RLLY KEWL THINGS --no no.  I believe, so deeply in each of these projects and want to be able to give them all the attention that they need. I never see profit in any of this, I don't seek to gain anything but the satisfaction of leaving love letters in various forms whenever and wherever I can.

Dreaming forever && believing so deeply that it automatically elicits the urgency to do-- that's what I want twenty-four to be about and having no expectations in terms of what any of that may look like or entail. I want to be blown away (by the sometimes stressful) but wonderful orchestration of Gods timing and planning. I want to continue to lean into his time versus my own and approach every open door with wide and accepting arms despite how heavy it might seem when I leave.

I want to finish this out by thanking each and every individual who made this day so wonderful, you have no idea how much you mean to me. I am so so grateful.

from the deepest part of my heart,


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