Are we out of the weeds?
“I think what we need to do is get you out of the weeds. Being in the weeds is a really difficult place to be in because you can’t dream there. We need to get you back to a place where you can dream.”
I sat down with a creative consultant for the first time a few weeks ago and I think a really big part of me exhaled after holding its breath for the past year. I used to think that I was the most predictable person ever, not very spontaneous or whimsy, not very exciting, pretty straight forward you always knew what was coming next. The past year has shattered that person, so much so that I’m worried I have been swept up in the chaos so much that I don't know how to sit still (I have already seen the extent of my struggle with this). The creative in me is taking over but I’m still hanging onto threads of my left brain because she keeps me sane while I’m always wanting to jump from one project to another.
When I sat down with the consultant, her name is Kat she said, “Tell me everything.” We had known one another in passing from church and I watched her pup once before but we hadn’t had very many face to face moments until then. I told her about my first post-grad year and everything it held within it. Working for a creative for 30 days and feeling a strong conviction to walk away from it which left me with a car note and insurance to pay for which turned into the five-job fiasco. Told her about breaking an early lease and moving in with a family and praying I didn’t disrupt their way of life, to taking a statistics class to finish my degree and wrestling with whether or not to go home and or purse a full time job in something that I think I could be good at. Everyone always seems a little bit exhausted after I tell them my story and I guess because I lived it ----it doesn’t seem as much anymore to me but her deep breath after I finished told me that was a lot. And that’s when she told me that I was in a season of the weeds, a season where the weeds are high and it’s hard to see what’s above or beyond them.
Dreaming, is the part of the process where we start to truly understand what we have and what we’re capable of. We start to dream when we believe in what we’re doing.
Dreaming is the moment where we realize we have something really good, like our own dash of salt and we want to figure out how to sprinkle that mess EVERYWHERE.
The whole goal of dreaming is hopefully that it turns into doing --- turns into get work DONE.
There are slow seasons in this creative life, in fact, I am just now getting out of one.
After I took my first stats test this summer, I left feeling pretty EH about it (which is usually my response after tests) and once i walked out of the class room, I got a call from a friend who asked me to pray for her. She had just gotten into her car and my EP started playing in her speakers ( still such a weird thing) and she could hear God say “Call her” so she did, moments after I had finished my test. In that moment I could hear God say. “I’m bigger than this. Than this class. Than that test. I’m bigger than this season of slowness that you’re in. I need you to finish. I need you to finish this so that there’s nothing holding you back for what I have prepared for you next.” If I’ve learned anything in this time of being a creative it’s that God is our biggest cheerleader when it comes to dreaming. He wants us to stretch outside our comfort zones and open ourselves up to so much more.
What is it you find yourself dreaming about but hesitating because it's too big? Have you ever thought that it’s not your dreams that are “too big” but more so your belief in yourself and what you were put on this earth to do --- is too small.
Yes, I said too small.
Yes, I am implying that you think less of yourself and the pure magic that you’re capable of being and doing in this world.
Honey, stretch out your arms and reach for every dream and aspiration placed before you and don't be afraid or burdened with the idea of them being "too big" for you ---they're not.
here's how to get out of the woods:
1. Remind yourself that you are not meant to stay there
2. Reach for the arms closest to you (the ones that have been trying to help for awhile but you probably avoided) and let them pull you up enough to see above all the chaos
3. Don’t just chase the dreams, grab them, love them, grow them, watch them bloom. Watch them make something beautiful out of you and you make something beautiful out of them.